Couples Counselling

You are here.

Maybe it is only one of you, or both of you together trying to find a good therapist to work with. Either way, you have already taken one of the most difficult steps. You have decided to consider couples counselling to help work through the challenges you are presently facing in your relationship. And you have, for whatever reason, landed here. Take a deep breath. It is definitely possible to find relief, and resolution, and clarity.

You are now on your way.
Relationships can be difficult. An intensely romantic beginning of a relationship may have become dull and lifeless, conflicts surrounding individual methods of dealing with life may have become overwhelming, the recovery after an affair may simply be too difficult to face, a sense of personal validation or respect may be missing, communication paths may be clogged and difficult to navigate. All of these things, and many more, may lead us to seek out help and couples counselling.

An interesting observation is that we, as human beings, are in constant relationship with everything around us...our partners, our family, our friends, our business associates, even the non-being objects that we pay attention to we are in relationship with. What makes a relationship with a thing a relationship is the quality of attention that we give it, the value we put on it, and the meaning in our lives that it brings. When we are in relationship with another thinking being, they too have to consider the same criteria, and this is usually where the conflict arises—we each may put different qualities of attention, meaning, and value on different elements of our relationship.

We are all different.

Couples counselling can help clarify many of these conflicts and help create a better environment for a relationship to flourish once again—or even for the first time!

The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation—or a relationship.
~ Deborah Tannen

The uniqueness of our individuality is usually what attracts us to another, and makes us fall in love in the first place. We have a natural tendency to strive to complete ourselves and fill in blanks in our own personal make up with strengths and attributes we see in our partners. But those differences that we were originally attracted to can also cause conflicts in our relationship. Couples counselling helps partners sort out the differences and find the love again that brought them together in the first place. At the very least it helps us see if that love is still something we want to rekindle. Even if it is time to dissolve a relationship due to hardships and conflicts that just do not seem to have any resolution or peace, therapy helps bring everything into light to be seen for what these things really are—free from unconscious and possibly destructive coloring.
I use a variety of conventional modalities in my work with couples including Imago Couples Therapy, Cognitive Behavorial Therapy, Family Systems, and Depth Psychotherapy. My primary orientation is transpersonal psychology which presents a focus on the intangible elements of a relationship—including love, purpose in being together, and meaning in the union and what the connection to one another brings to the pursuit of happiness and a greater fulfillment in life. Although these ideals may seem lofty, ultimately they are the foundation of what makes up a happy, meaningful, and purposeful relationship. If we address our relationships from this perspective the day to day conflicts of living begin to dissolve or take on different meaning.
Please email or call me at (416) 712-1476 for more information regarding my practice or to book an appointment. You can also make an appointment by clicking here. I work with all couples in relationship, heterosexual, LGBTQ, married, common-law, premarital, and unmarried partners.